blue day
So, got an unexpected...suprise today. But "suprise" is just not at all the right word that I am looking for here. Cause to me, "suprise" is something that I try to save to use in describing something fun or exciting that happens. Sorta like a suprise party. Although I hate those. So maybe "suprise" is the right word to use here... Whatever. Got a call from the ex today. Guess she just wanted to chat. Cause that's all we did. For almost an hour. And not a thing of any real substance or importance was said.
I was fine with all of this until I had been off the phone for about five minutes. And then I just had to sit with my head down for a good half hour and just pray that I wouldn't explode. And, seen as how there was nothing said tonight about the "why" of why I got a call now, after like what, seven months or something, I figured I would just let everything kinda kick around in my head for a day and then give her a call and see what the deal is. Cause I don't think that I really like the idea of just getting a random phone call every so often, just to see how the weather is on the other side of the country. I have other friends that live over there that I can call when I am curious about that. Ya know.
So, needless to say, pretty much everything that had been on the agenda for the night got pushed to a later date.
I still like grilled cheese though. Sure could go for a couple of 'em right now.
And a big glass of milk. Milk just seems to make problems go away. Not quite sure why, but it does.
I thought I was a lot father along than this. Guess maybe there have been more reasons than what I thought for what has been going on in my head lately.
Grr.
music: "Tourniquet" -- Evanescence
I was fine with all of this until I had been off the phone for about five minutes. And then I just had to sit with my head down for a good half hour and just pray that I wouldn't explode. And, seen as how there was nothing said tonight about the "why" of why I got a call now, after like what, seven months or something, I figured I would just let everything kinda kick around in my head for a day and then give her a call and see what the deal is. Cause I don't think that I really like the idea of just getting a random phone call every so often, just to see how the weather is on the other side of the country. I have other friends that live over there that I can call when I am curious about that. Ya know.
So, needless to say, pretty much everything that had been on the agenda for the night got pushed to a later date.
I still like grilled cheese though. Sure could go for a couple of 'em right now.
And a big glass of milk. Milk just seems to make problems go away. Not quite sure why, but it does.
I thought I was a lot father along than this. Guess maybe there have been more reasons than what I thought for what has been going on in my head lately.
Grr.
music: "Tourniquet" -- Evanescence
posted by klev at 10:43 PM
2 Comments:
"I thought I was a lot farther along than this."
I had the same sort of...not "epiphany," but disappointment a week or so ago while pondering my Date. Suddenly I was on the verge of tears because I missed him. So that was distressing.
It hasn't been that long. You're doing far, far, FAR better than most people would be.
The idea of calling her back, though, makes me go "eeehhhh..." Could just be my avoidant nature. I prefer to ignore things until they go away, so I'm not the best person to listen to.
-Jess
Yes! Oreos! That was what had flashed across my brain that I needed to put down and then a minute later when I went to type said thought, it was totally gone. Thanks for reminding me!
And as far as the non-calling...I totally inderstand why I maybe shouldn't. But I usued the avoidance thing way too much myself while we were dating and what not. And at this point I need to know what in tarnation is actually going on in her head.
But trust me, I would rather just ignore and hope it goes away. But then there'll be that little thought at the back of my mind saying "what if she calls again? what am I going to do then?"
So call I feel I must.
Post a Comment
<< Home