start to melt

OK. So my truck blew up. Again. At least I work with some incedibly generous and kind people who are willing to give me rides. At least for a few days. And one of them may end up fixing my truck this time. But my truck still blew up again. Grrrrrrrrrrr...

Had softball last night and played against the little guys. They beat us, of course. But it was a pretty fun game. And I actually hit the ball (and hit it pretty well) every time that I got up. Which was a nice change from the way I've played most of the other games this year. And I got to slide too! First time this season. So much fun. Definitely worth the little pain and stiffness today.

And now I'm off to the volleyball playoffs. Sure hope we win.........


music: "Paris 2004" -- Peter Bjorn and John

office memos

So it's Friday. So so happy about that.

Think I might end up pulling an all night-er (or at least a really really really late night-er) tonight with a friend, helping him work on his basement. And there might be a movie and some late night food involved as well... Cause as long as we get more than one sheet of drywall up, we made progress.

Been a little on the warm side of things here this week. But really, not a bad thing at all. Kind of a nice change after this past winter. The sun just feels good.

Actually got up about an hour early this morning to go for a run. Ended up reading some Potter instead. Just that I still have so much to read. And it doesn't involve me running at all.

I did do some push ups though. So I did get the day off to a better start than I normally do...

I know I had said that it might be a while before ya'll would hear from me on this cause of all the out of sortishness going on in the head. Well, it's still pretty much there. But I figure I still might as well keep on posting stuff and, who knows, sooner or later something just might work its way out.

Sure hope we get to go to the cafe for lunch...


music: some cd that's in this dude's cd player. think it's called Writer's Block

is catching up with me again today

Brief patches of good. Some bad ones...

Nice and toasty warm yesterday. Ended up outside, reading on the front porch last night at about ten. Not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. Just need about 10 more hours out there to finish up book five...

A little soreness today from volleyball Tuesday night. Sand just isn't always as soft as it looks. But it is a ton softer than indoor courts.

Think there is more. But it is time for work. Not that there is much, or anything to do today...


music: "Downpour" -- Brandi Carlile

there are no words...

I just took a book quiz thingy that I found a link to somewhere. Apparently, this is me...I am Ulysses

"Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero."

Guess it pretty much got me down to a t. Or is it "tee"? Or "tea"? Who knows...

Been feeling quite out of sorts the last few days and am having quite a hightened sense of out-of sortishness right now. May be a few days before ya'll hear from me again while I try to get things sorted out...


music: music doesn't seem to fit right now, which just adds to the whole feeling...

headlights

I got my truck back!!!

Think I may need to sleep in it tonight...

you take the things you like

Monumental landmark reached today.

I was actually smiling while driving. All the way through Denver. At 6 p.m.-ish on a weekday. For really no reason at all. Granted, there really was no traffic to speak of and I had to do my best to keep my speed below 80 mph. And then I just randomly started to smile. And it was right after I could have started yelling at the idiot driver in front of me who had just done something retarded. But I didn't start yelling. And I don't think that I made a canscience decision not to yell. Just didn't do it. But that just makes the smiling that much more baffleing. Why? Where did it come from? Yes, it was a gorgeous evening to be flying down the road with the windows down and the radio up. And I had gotten a tiny little ten minute nap after work while watching the first inning of a baseball game (didn't actually end up watching so much of it).

Guess I'll just have to leave it as one of those unexplained occurances of life that we will wonder about till our dying days.

Now there's a happy thought!

Left-overs are one of the best inventions ever.


music: "So Long, So Long" -- Dashboard Confessional (I really need to get some more music at my parent's house)

you try until you can't

Unfortunately, I don't think that I quite lived up to that statement tonight.

Had the Monday night softball game, of course, and I think I pretty much missed catching a ball, BY ABOUT A QUARTER OF AN INCH, because I just didn't quite try until I couldn't. Yes, it would have been a tough catch regaurdless. But if I had run just a little faster, taken just that little bit of a longer stride, just stretched my arm out a tiny bit more, not been concered with if I was going to step in the huge sprinkler head, I could have heard the satisfying thwap of the ball landing in the basket of my glove instead of hearing the sickening thwink of it just glancing off of the very tip of my glove.

Oh well. It was a pretty fun game. We lost. But it was our coaches birthday today and his wife had made cake and brought ice cream for everyone. So that was nice. Good cake too.

And I had pie at lunch. After a nice big cheesesteak sandwich and a good pile of fries. Think that this place is pretty close to my favorite place to go right now. Ok, so it is definitely my favorite place to go right now. Great food. Great service. Not bad prices. Pretty sure that I went on my last rant about supporting your local "hole in the wall" places after the last time I ate there, so I'll try and at least spare you that this time. But if anyone is interested in taking me out to lunch or breakfast for any reason, just let me know and we can head down to Castle Rock. Come to think of it, we may be able to work out stopping there for a late breakfast tomorrow... Hmm, going to have to put some thought into that one.

Actually had a pretty fun Monday. Didn't really have to get annoyed so much with the new guy at work today. Had an awesome lunch. Actually felt like we got a lot accomplished at work. Played softball. Had cake. Had pie. Got to take a little bit of a walk. Had a little chat with a friend on the phone. And got to talk to my sister for a little while. Pretty nice Monday.

Now I just need to get some sleep so I can get down to the office by 6 tomorrow morning...


music: "Dusk And Summer" -- Dashboard Confessional

you'll listen to it twice

Been incredibly tired this week. Like today. I felt good all day, but I swear I could've fallen alseep at like nine tonight if I had just closed my eyes for like two seconds. I actually did almost fall alseep several times driving home from work tonight. Just kinda strange. Cause it was last week that I wasn't getting much sleep and wasn't inordinately tired or anything. But this week, when I get at least my usual amount of sleep, I'm just exhausted every day. Oh well.

At least it's Friday tomorrow!!

Seems like I waste a whole lot of time in my life. And not in ways that you may be thinking. Like playing video games or collecting stamps. Thinking more along the lines of just living and not really doing anything to make my future life any better or different from my current life. I know that time has a way of changing things for us (and God) but it seems like for the most part I usually end up letting the time do all the work and never doing anything of my own accord to change things. Basically wasting time.

I at least need to learn how to play the guitar or something.

Why do I always end up in morbid self-introspection crap when I get tired? Seems like this is all I can do with any regularity anymore. And I'm sorry that I drag ya'll into it more often than not. Just ignore. It usually passes by morning and I'm fine again. Just these later hours of the night when I'm all alone that my brain starts to wander into areas that have caution tape plastered up. But, alas, caution tape that is ignored.

But Friday tomorrow! And Saturday I get to man the grill at an open house for my friend Jerry who just graduated from DU with a masters degree. And grilling is always something to be looked forward to. And grilling for groups is always a little bit of a challenge and thus even more fun. And I think sometime this weekend I am going to go help another friend finish putting the wire in that they are going to need for their "man room" in their basement that they are remodeling. ANd that is exciting just for the fact that it will be that much closer to being done and useable by all us men. And it's payday.


music: "Better" -- Regina Spektor (and yes, i will)

feeling good

Yep. The song pretty much fits the day so far.

Didn't even start to think about if I was sore or not when I woke up this morning. Actually took me all the way till I was driving to work to notice that I feel normal today.

Always a nice thing. To feel normal, that is.

Although, sometimes it's good to not.

Time to go. Coffee to drink...


music: just the hum of a computer but there is a multitude in my head

eternity

I think that tomorrow I should be doing alright. Finally. Still had to concentrate really hard today and make a decided effort whenever getting out of a vehicle was required. But I can tell a big difference to how I feel now as opposed to even four hours ago. So I think I should definitely be good to go in the morning.

Was seriously wishing I had no need to go to work today when I woke up this morning.

Had an awesomely fun time playing volleyball Tuesday night after work. And we actually got to play! That in itself was pretty amazing.

Got to hold the baby tonight. Seems like it has been forever since I got to. Every time I've been over she was either eating or sleeping in her bed already or screaming because she was either hungry or needed to go sleep in her bed. But tonight she was just finishing a bottle and then didn't need to go to sleep right away, so I got to walk around the house with her for a good long time. And she even fell asleep, which was pretty amazing I thought. Athough, if someone would carry me around after I ate dinner, I think I would fall asleep in their arms too. But it was pretty cool. She is starting to grow like crazy too. Just amazing!

Still pretty tired though. Time for some shut eye, go to sleep and dream...


music: Big & Rich's Between Raising Hell and Amazing Grace album

half-open eyes to a world full of light

Three softball games. Fun, but not so much of a restful thing. Was pretty much tired after the first one. Guess I just need to start getting into better shape. Got to pitch in the first game, which was a nice change. Probably only cause we ended up winning that game. Never as much fun to pitch when you lose. And I actually hit pretty well in that game too. Think I ended up with a triple, an in-the-park homerun and a single. And possibly a walk as well. So part of that was more bad fielding than good hitting, but I'll take it just the same. However, the last two games... One hit. Yep, that's it. Got robbed by the pitcher again on one of them. I guess I just need to stop hitting the ball right back up the middle. But they are such nice pitches!

So I didn't end up leaving the fields till about 11 last night. And then about two blocks away I heard a loud popping noise come from my truck and it felt as if my brakes went away. Thankfully, they were still there a little bit, but there was definitely something not right there. So, as the fields are a lot closer to my parents house than my own, I stopped by there to see if I could see anything wrong with it. Yep, my right front brake is pretty much non existant anymore. Gone. Evaporated into dust. Literally. So, I'm driving my Mom's car today. Thanks Mom. (maybe someday when I actually let you read any of this you'll see that I'm not a totally ungrateful git [to use the words of the famous Ron Weasley])

And now it's time to go load up the vans and get out and do some actual work.

And then go play two volleyball games tonight.

I think I'm going to be sleeping quite well tonight.


mood: wishing for a bed and a star to wish upon
music: don't know where the music went to, it was just there a second ago

keep refrigerated

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears."

Okay, don't really know why that just popped into my head, but there you have it.

Had a pretty good weekend. Got to do some more home-ownerish type things that I normally don't get to do a whole lot of, like mowing the lawn and picking weeds. Always fun stuff. Watched a bunch of the Women's College World Series on ESPN. (while I was reading Harry Potter) So I wasn't really paying that much attention to it, but I am just that much in need of softball in my life right now that that I felt I needed to watch it. That, and the second baseman for Baylor was pretty cute...

And speaking of softball, I get to play in three games Monday night. The first game is for the "little guys" and I think I'll probably end up pitching for that one. So that should be interesting. That game is at 7 and the the "old guys" have a double header with games at 9 and 10. Which means, if the games are running on schedule, that I'll probably be getting home somewhere between 11:30 and 12 tomorrow night. Should be fun! And I'm not being sarcastic in the least about that. I am looking forward to it big time.

Also got to play some poker on Saturday night. Pretty much the first time ever for me. Which is a little suprising, seen as how I went through a stage a few years ago where I woulf watch poker a lot. I even bought a Poker for Dummies book. Which I never read at all. But I actually won on Saturday night. Course, we weren't playing for anything. And there was only three of us playing. But it was still fun. And I won!

Ok, this is fun and all, but I need to go home and do some reading. Harry just got back to school for the start of his fourth year and I left him just after he fell asleep on his first night back at Hogwarts. So I need to get back so I can rediscover what happens to him this year at school. Mad Eye Moody!!


music: NPR crazyness

i have run through the fields

Is there some hidden magic in being strange looking? Or short? Or grossly overwiehgt? Or a total jerk? Cause I was just out with some friends tonight and it seemed that there were a whole bunch of pretty cute girls with guys of the sort that I just decribed. Not saying that I am not any of these (except probably overwieght) but why can't I find a girl? Am I just to "nice"? I mean, reallly...why?

I know that I can be shy at times. And really, lets face it, I know I'm not much to look at. But I'm a pretty decent guy. I'll hold doors open for you. I'll open and close car doors for you. I'll even give you my coat if you're cold. Heck, I'll even buy you dinner. I'd even go to chick flicks and not complain about having to watch them, and not just because I actually think that a few of them actaully look kinda like good movies. (unless I'm around the guys, then you just have to complain about "having" to watch them) I'll even send flowers on occasions where there isn't an actual occasion. On occasion...

I don't know. I guess I shouldn't worry about it. And I'm really not. Worried. I just don't really want to become one of those guys that has a line or moves or whatever you want to call it.

At least it's Friday now. Have a good one.


music: "Hotel California" -- The Eagles